Parent Trap
by 14karatgold
Summary: She separated them at birth, not to protect them from their father, but to protect their father from them. The lengths to which a Lady Knight goes to protect her country go all the way back to a single night she shouldn't remember. -Rewrite-
1. Prologue: Divide and Conquer

AN: I enjoyed writing my original version of Parent Trap. It was fun. However, I just lost interest in it. For those of you that enjoyed it, I apologize. I lost track of the plot I wanted to carry out and my characters were getting on my nerves, so I just stopped. This new version is entirely different, complete with a different tone, a different and more elaborate storyline and even different names and characters for some of the people. I hope you all aren't too disappointed by my decision to discontinue the original PT, but I really hope this new story is interesting enough to be a pleasing, if not more desirable, replacement.

And now for the story. Finally. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: The setting, history, and many of the characters belong to Tamora Pierce, but the plotline and most of the characters are mine. And some of the setting in the later story as well. This disclaimer will have to do for the rest of the story.

**Prologue: Divide and Conquer  
**

This is my escape.

My escape.

_This is the cheater's way out, and you know it. You need to just live up to your mistakes and carry them like a man. You've done that your whole life. Why can't you do that now?_

Because this is different.

_This isn't any different. _

This is a woman's mistake that could tear the Kingdom apart.

_And so was attempting to become a Lady Knight in the first place. That worked out._

That was honorable.

_Not in the eyes of some._

But at least in mine, and that makes all the difference in the world.

KKKKKKK

Half-delirious from the pain of her long labor and the strange herbal draught that Kourrem had brought for her, the new mother of twins fell back into the scratchy pillows of her make-shift bed, pale and rasping. She looked almost as dead as she felt: emotionless, and without sensation. She did not feel like the proud mother of two newborns, but wretched, as though she had taken the life of an innocent, rather than given it.

"Do you still wish to leave them here?" came a voice from the entryway to her tent. She forced herself to open her eyes—she wanted to at least appear that she still had some dignity left to show. She even made the effort to pull herself up in her seated position, an act which was quickly but gently interrupted by her guest's strong hand on her shoulder, pushing her back down into her pillows.

So wounded, both physically and emotionally, the woman looked down at the dark skinned hand and teared at the idea that someone could still care for her, even through the shame of what she had allowed herself to experience. Knowing her guest would understand, she gave herself a moment before answering.

"The boy stays here. The girl I'm planning to take to Trebond."

"Divide and conquer, then," the man said, the light behind his dark eyes wise.

"For their protection. I can't have them discovered. As it is, I almost considered leaving the girl here instead. With the Voice communing here every so often, I worried that he might recognize the boy, but…Coram and Rispah really wanted the girl."

"I suppose it is fortunate, then, that they did not inherit your unique eye-color. Or their father's for that matter."

The woman chuckled wetly, allowing a few tears to drip through her closed eyelids before brushing them off. "Fortunate indeed, for then they would have been subjected to a life of real solitude."

"As it is, are you sure that this is what is best for them."

The woman was silent. Looking with shame at the dull purple glow encasing her hands like a glove as they shook, she replied quietly, "It's what's best for the Kingdom."

"You mean, it is what is best for your home life and new marriage."

All sign of shame gone, the red-headed woman fiercely swept her sweaty hair aside and retorted hotly, "I am doing what I believe is right so that maybe this kingdom won't be torn apart again by another one of my scandals!" After glaring at her long-time friend for a few moments longer, she seemed to remember herself and looked down again. She added softly, "My husband might be able to get over it in time—he has forgiven me for many things before—but something like this would ruin the delicate balance Tortall has managed to find within this last year. I am sworn to protect it at all costs, not tear it apart."

"Even if that means abandoning your children?"

"…Yes."

Silence reigned heavily like a living entity between the two friends.

"Well. You have made up your mind. It is now my duty to respect the wishes of the savior of my people and, most importantly, a friend. I will raise him as best as I can and I'm sure Kara and Kourrem will be delighted to help. He will be loved with us, just as the other boy has been."

"Other boy?"

"Oh yes. There was another boy who was born here last year. His mother died dreadfully during the birth. As orphans, I predict that they will be great friends." And with that, he turned and left the woman alone to consider the gravity of what she had decided for her children.

"Orphans…"

_You will be dead to those who you gave life. Can _you _live with that? _

What choice have I?

_Abandonment is shameful and weak. Where would you have been if you had abandoned your dream at the slightest challenge?_

That's still different.

_Not by much._

I'm not ready to be a mother. Not even to honest children.

_And whose weakness is that? _

…

_One day, you will regret this decision, because one day, they will be old enough to discover the truth._

KKKKKKK


	2. 1: One of Eight

AN: So this is Chapter 1. It's a little longer than I intended, and it was longer until I decided to chop what I had written into two pieces. I didn't to throw too many words at you all at once. Please read and review! Tell me the good and the bad. Improvement is my goal! Typical request of a novice author. =) Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter One: One of Eight**

Sweaty hair constantly drooped into her eyes with all the persistence of a troublesome fly, no matter how many times she swept it back into the band that was supposed to hold them. The end of her long blade was tipping towards the ground—the result of long-term muscle use and the fatigue that inevitably followed. With every effort she made to keep it held high, the sword made twice the effort to force her to drop it.

But she wasn't ready yet. The darkness hadn't abated from the corners of her mind. She couldn't be done yet.

She looked at her opponent from across the small circle they had been making in the sand as they circled each other, looking for the opportunity to strike. A grimace reached her face when she realized that not only was he showing none of the signs of fatigue that she was, but his eyebrows were also raised at her, as if suggesting that they just call it a draw. That, if possible, angered her even further, allowing for a brief rush of adrenaline. This was the last opportunity she would get.

She took it.

A final parry and a twist later, and she was on the ground, cowering (glowering) at the mercy of her opponent.

"You haven't been practicing," came a voice, carefully toned as if reluctant to speak these words in fear of retribution. The owner of the voice must not have feared for his life too much, however, since he followed that statement with an outstretched hand.

"Mmm," the girl on the ground said darkly as she raised her eyes to the hand before taking it and rising to her feet, "yes, well, imagine how you would feel if Mother had _you _taking care of our dearest siblings everyday. You'd think that she and Da would have stopped pumping out children like mass-produced items by now. Alinna, Clara and I have our hands completely tied."

"Why? Hasn't Ma been helping too?" the boy asked as they began to walk in the direction of home and the subject of their talk.

The girl stared at her brother, briefly incredulous before rationalizing, "Ah, I keep forgetting that you've only been home a day. To answer your question: no. With Da having to tear off to Corus at the very last minute—ironically, you must've passed each other on your way in; he sends his love, by the way—she's been rushing about like a madwoman trying to get everything set and ready for the harvest."

"Maybe I could offer my assistance."

"Maybe you should. She's been driving all of us up and over the walls. Apparently," she leaned into her brother conspiratorially, "there was some sort of to-do in the City. I don't know what it was about—perhaps you have some idea—but whatever it is, it sent our normally sure-footed and pragmatic Mamá into a hand-wringing fit and our Father right out the door!"

Her brother looked pensive, thinking back on what it had been like when he'd left Corus the week previously. Obviously nothing came to mind, because after a moment, he shook his head, saying, "Everything was fine when I left, and I haven't received any letters since arriving either to indicate otherwise. Whatever it is, either it's important only to Mother and Father and thus nobody has bothered with the news (but it's Corus: everyone bothers with _everyone's _news), or it's been hushed up by the higher-ups and our parents are in on it." He saw the look that had come over his sisters' face at his words. "Oh no, Kali. We are _not _going anywhere near that idea again. Besides which, aren't you concerned? What if it's something that directly affects us or Trebond itself?"

"If that's the case, then I'll have more on my hands than just a few boisterous boys and a baby, yes, I know, but never mind my lack of caution—where's your curiosity?" By now they had reached the doors of the manor, both rather loathe to enter into the chaos invariably taking place inside.

"I left it behind in Corus with my schoolbooks."

"Excellent! Let's go and get it! And while we're at it, we can see what's got Ma and Da all up in a fuss," Kali said with a familiar glint in her eye.

"Kali, whatever it is, it's none of our business. If Ma and Da needed us to know of it, they would have informed us by now. In all honesty, I feel like the older sibling right now. What has page-training done to me…."

"Oh Jon. It's made you boring that's what," Kali said with a sideways smirk over to her younger brother, happy that all of her previous frustration had finally abated.

"Maybe, but it's also made me a better swordsman than you," he retorted, grinning, "and that's something." He darted through the manor doors barely in time before his sister's open palm swiped through the space where he had just previously been. By the time she had leapt through the open door after him, Jon was already halfway down the entrance hall, cackling all the way. Always faster than her, Kali laughed after him and then gave it up as a bad job. Usually, she would've played along for a while, but she was tired after their harrowing (though, surprisingly short) duel and he had only arrived yesterday evening. She knew that there were things he needed to do also. For her, this was as good a time as any for them to part ways until dinner.

Still chuckling at the sight of his skinny (though now incredibly muscular) legs flying out behind him as he sprinted the length of the hallway, she turned off towards the East Wing where her bedchamber lie. Timely as always, her maid Belle already had hot water ready for her bath, which she gratefully stepped into. Normally, she was perfectly capable of bathing herself, but the moment her tired muscles hit the comfort of warm water, her sight darkened and poor Belle was left alone to care for her mistress.

Kali awoke some time later after some befuddling dreams centering around some strange interplay between a kitten and a very large owl. It had apparently been time for the owl to "pay up," though, what bet an owl could have possibly lost to a kitten was beyond her. Thus the confusion when she woke up in a canopied bed when she had just been in a tree. She sneezed once, twice, three times before groaning and turning over so her pillow would smother any further unpleasantness from spewing about her room. She hoped that, with luck, she would return to that lovely place of persistent meows and stubborn hoots, but, alas, she was not to achieve said dream due to the rather rude interruption of her short, brightly blonde and incredibly flustered eleven-year-old sister throwing open her door in a huff.

"I don't suppose you could've _considered _knocking?" she asked from the nest of comfort known as her pillow, though, it came out more like "Inof thumboz luboobl _dothlided _noggnn?" and thus meant nothing to the little girl whose mind was quite elsewhere.

"Kali! Kali you've got to help me!" she yelled disparagingly and Kali, as the dutiful older sister, made herself turn over and patiently respond, "What's happened?"

"It's Thayine! She won't stop crying and I've tried absolutely everything. I didn't want to bother you, but there's no one else around except for Jon, and we all know _he's _no help." She was already tugging Kali out of bed by the wrist.

"Where's Clara? Shouldn't she be helping with this?"

"She's already got both Thom and Mylec to worry about, especially since they've both come down with the usual autumn flu. She told me to look after Thayine, _but she won't stop screaming!_" Alinna was very impressive for an eleven-year-old taking care of four younger brothers and a baby sister, but Kali couldn't help but think that all of this mothering at such a young age would forever turn the girl off to having kids of her own. Already Kali was very near abandoning the idea herself.

Still unsure as to why she continued to subject herself to this, Kali tread heavily in her sister's wake, resignedly rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Alinna led her straight to Thayine's nursery with all the stressed demeanor of their harried mother: hands clenched, footfalls heavy, and shoulders rigid. Kali could've laughed at the contrast between herself and her young sister at this moment—she was as loose as a newly-oiled hinge.

Though, that too was about to end. As they approached the end of the hallway where Thayine's nursery was located, the distinct sound of incoherent wailing scraped into Kali's ears with all the unpleasantness of an _un_-oiled hinge, long left untended. If nothing else, Thayine's apparent distress woke her up to full alertness.

"How long has she been doing this?" asked Kali, nearly shouting over the incredible amount of din her littlest sister was spouting forth.

"Almost a half an hour," Alinna responded. Kali very much thought the younger girl was the visage of a fretful mother, complete with hand-wringing. "And I've tried changing her, feeding her, holding her, playing with her…Nothing helps!"

Slowly, Kali went over to the squalling child, picked her up and began to rock her gently.

"Kali, I tried that," Alinna admonished irritably. Kali ignored her, and Thayine continued to scream.

She began to sing:

"_Tread softly, dearling, for I am Night. Fear not the stars: they are the light_

_That will guide you all the way home._

_Tread softly, dearling, for I am Day. I give you the life with which you play_

_Underneath my bright blue dome._

_Tread softly, dearling, for I am Dawn. The first rays of sun will shed light upon_

_Your fears so you might move on._

_Tread softly, dearling, for I am Dusk. The Guiding Star will remove its husk_

_To let you know that you are not alone."_

Kali carefully placed the softly snoring babe into her crib and turned with satisfaction towards Alinna's frowning face. "What?"

"Well," she began thoughtfully. "I've heard you play that tune before, but no one else seems to know it. And I've never heard you sing the words."

"I know…" Kali began, suddenly feeling very listless and desiring only to go back to sleep. "It must have been something my mother sung to me when I was born."

Kali watched her sister bite her lip in apprehension. "Oh come on, Lin, whatever it is, just ask it. I won't bite you."

"When did your mother die? When did she bring you here?"

Kali's sad smile dropped. Using one arm to hug the smaller girl to her side, she quietly spoke: "She died only a few weeks after I was born, counting on the Lord and Lady of the Fief to take care of me. A plague on her Gift, Da said, that slowly drained away her life source like the desert does to an open pool of water." Kali shook herself and put a smile on her face for her worried sister. "But never mind that. I'm your sister and I'll be sticking around until Ma, Da, or our up-coming Sir Jonthair kick me out."

She then reached down and kissed both her younger sisters on the forehead before striding surely out the nursery and into the halls of a manor that no longer felt quite like home. It was as though in the last five minutes, she had left home for a long trip and then returned to find it managed by people she barely knew. All of her memories were here, but she felt as though she no longer belonged to them.

Sometimes, she found it strange to think that of all the places she could have been abandoned, she was left in the backwater fief where Alanna the Lioness herself grew up and raised by the very same people that raised her now. It was a tug of fame that felt perfectly ordinary to her, as if it were something she would have had herself had her mother lived to raise her.

All her life she had lived with her adopted family and been introduced to others as the first child. Despite the fact that most of her seven siblings occupied the manor at all times, the manor now felt empty, but it did not bother her. These halls had always comforted her, even when her mother could not. The tapestries and paintings that lined the halls were littered with faces of people she had never met before, and yet somehow seemed so familiar that she felt as though she could hear their voices whispering comfortingly in her ear as she passed under their eyes.

She paused under a painting of Lord Alan of Trebond and his wife, Mariana. She liked to come here to think, and every time she did, she felt the undeniable urge to pull the strings of her harp in a tune that only she knew. One year for her birthday, her parents had even gotten her a small harp which was kept underneath the painting itself.

The song still fresh in her mind, Kali reached for the harp, carefully seated herself on the stone with her back against the wall, positioned her fingers on the strings and closed her eyes. Her deft fingers began to play of their own accord a tune they knew well while her conscious mind sang silently along.

* * *

AN: Again, this is kind of a long chapter—I hope you got through it alright. Please give feedback because it's what encourages me to keep going! Those of you that read the original, please tell me what you think of the new one and which one you like better. Anything and everything is wonderful!

Thanks for reading!

kt


	3. 2: Family

AN: This chapter isn't terribly excited, but I'm still in the process of setting a few thins up. Please be patient. I hope to prove that it'll be worth it in the long-run! Anyway. Enough with me. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**Chapter Two: Family**

"Jonthair, have you seen your sister?"

"Not since we sparred this morning. Alinna said she disappeared after helping her with Thayine, but neither of us have seen her since."

"Could you see if you can find her? Dinner will be served soon, and I need to speak with her." Jonthair noticed the deep circles underneath his mother's eyes before they turned back down towards the desk where heaps of paperwork still lay. He opened his mouth to speak, but knew his offer would be rejected anyway. She would just smile and thank him for his offer, but all of this work would be best done if she just took care of it herself.

"Yes, mother." Jonthair then turned to leave, his hesitation unnoticed by Rispah, whose once vibrant red hair seemed to grow grayer everyday.

He closed the door of his parents' office quietly behind him and meant to make good on his promise to find his sister for dinner. Knowing that Thom and Mylec were incapacitated from their illness and still isolated from contact with the rest of the manor by their fiercely loyal nursemaid Clara, Jonthair made for the rooms of his next-youngest brother Daran. Nearly four, he might have been aware enough to catch some rumor of their eldest sister and take note of it. It was still strange for Jonthair—Daran had been less than a year old when he'd left to train as a page. Now coming back after three years of separation for a brief visit was like throwing open the curtains of your bedroom expecting darkness, only to be blinded by sunlight unexpectedly. He'd been introduced (or, re-introduced in Daran's case) to his three youngest siblings the previous night. He vaguely wondered when his parents would stop having children…and then quickly turned his mind away from the thought before it went much further.

Pausing outside Daran's door, a thought occurred to him suddenly: was the boy still in the nap-taking phase? His experiences with Thom and Mylec had taught him the importance of not waking a toddler from his nap. He could still remember the exact pitch of those angry wails.

Cringing at the memory, he raised his fist to the wooden door—

"If you weren't so focused on trying to wake me up, you would've noticed the music by now."

Jonthair had not jumped so badly since discovering a soft, squishy, and "ribbit"-ing something in his bed once. Turning slowly to face the unnaturally intelligent eyes of his four-year-old brother, Jonthair subconsciously remembered that that experience had effectively brought the end of his fear of toads.

"Sorry?"

"Shhh," Daran hushed, pressing a finger to his lips.

Just as he was beginning to feel like he was being had, Jonthair heard a faint echo of a harp stemming from down the hall. Smiling appreciatively at his little brother, he hurried down the hall before skidding to a halt and shouting back "Mum says dinner's almost ready."

"I know. Thank you."

Not bothering to wonder how his eerie little brother knew already, Jonthair made towards the Hall of Lords feeling foolish—he should've known.

* * *

Sure enough, there she was, sitting flat on her butt on the cold, hard floor, skirts and all. Jonthair smiled. It was so like her to not give a damn about what she was wearing when she got the urge to do things. Sometimes he thought it was fitting that she wasn't really his sister. None of the girls at Court really interested him, but Kali… No. They might not be related by blood, but for all intents and purposes, she was still his sister. She didn't have to know that it was homesickness for her that had gotten him through those horrible years as a page.

Another side of his mind, sickened by these thoughts, drove them from his mind in light of what he was _supposed _to be doing in interrupting her peace in the first place.

"Kali—"

She stopped playing abruptly, but didn't look up. "I know. Dinner right?" Her voice was oddly resigned and toneless. Jonthair decided to ignore that and instead focused on the words themselves.

"Not you too! Mithros! How does everyone _know?_"

That, fortunately, made the corners of her mouth turn up just a little bit. It was so subtle that not everyone would have noticed, but Jonthair felt a little better because of it.

"Because, my darling brother," she said as she pulled herself to her feet, pausing a little as she dusted off her behind, "this is the time dinner is on _every_day." She grinned at him, mocking him for forgetting this dreadfully important fact of life in Trebond Manor. She suddenly laughed as he scowled at her before turning and placing the harp reverently back into its stand on the wall. "Shall we?"

They made their way towards the dining hall, laughing as the reminisced over some of their more embarrassing lapses in memory. They rejoined the rest of their family (minus Thom and Mylec, who were still bed-ridden) around the table. Jonthair was pleased to note the much more relaxed expression on his mother's face as she sat at the head of the table. She smiled at her eldest as they came into the room and seated themselves on either side of her. Rispah gave a brief prayer of thanks to the gods, and before any of them had even picked up their forks, she announced, "Your father will be home in a couple of days." She grinned broadly to the cheering table. "He sent word to me this morning. Alanna the Lioness will be accompanying him." The cheers fell silent.

"Did you say _the _Alanna, Mother?" Jonthair asked slowly.

"Yes, of course. Surely you know that she and your father are the oldest of friends."

"Yes. He practically raised her. But why is she coming here?"

Rispah scanned the table, eyes coming to rest on Kali just a little longer than the others. "There's been some trouble, and she wants to make sure personally that it hasn't made it as far as Trebond."

"But why?" Kali asked feeling affronted for no real reason, and her mother's eyes snapped back onto her. "The Lioness hasn't felt any need to visit here over the years. Why does she all of a sudden decide to show an interest in our welfare personally? Surely she knows that you and Da can take care of yourselves."

Rispah looked uncomfortable, which Jonthair noticed as a novelty—it was very difficult to ruffle the feathers of the former Queen of the Rogue. After a few brief moments of watching a battle play blatantly across her features, Rispah finally said, "This problem is of particular concern, especially to her. She's making sure that all the places closest to her remain separate from it."

"But, as I said—" Kali persisted, the odd feeling of resentment flaring up again.

"Enough, Kalita. I hope you won't be this rude when she arrives." Rispah glared at her eldest once again, closing the argument. "Now. Shall we eat? Finally? I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm starved." And so she began to serve herself to the food lining the center of the table. The younger sibling slowly followed suit, but Kali and Jon had a conversation across the table solely with their eyes. In the end, Jon slowly nodded, and then began to help himself to his dinner.

Kali, on the other hand, stared at her completely clean plate for a few moments longer until Rispah looked up and noticed the untouched utensils in front of her daughter. "There's no real use in worrying about it right now, darling. Everything will be explained when your father arrives, I'm sure. Just eat up right now. I don't want you to lose strength and catch whatever Thom and Mylec have got."

Kali looked up and smiled at her mother before doing as instructed. She was right: there was no use in worrying about what you couldn't hasten to be. What would come, would come, and right now there was food that required her attention. Her grin broadened and she dug into the roast potatoes in front of her.

"So now!" Rispah announced again, this time addressing Kali directly. "I don't know what you've done to their boys, but I keep receiving the most desperate of love-notes from all of our neighboring fiefs. I said you would attract attention, despite not attending the Convent."

Kali laughed. "Well, mother, that was hardly my decision. You wouldn't let me, remember?"

Rispah grinned sheepishly. "Well, no. Not really. I regret that you hated me for weeks after I said you couldn't go, but I've been so happy to have you around." She then grasped her daughter's hand unexpectedly. "It's been such a joy to have you around for all these hard years." Mother and daughter shared in the personal moment for a bit before Jon cleared his throat. Kali laughed again and Rispah continued, "Do you still resent me for not letting you go?"

Kali shook her head. "No. It makes much more sense now. I'm just your adopted daughter, with a questionable background. I would've been an anomaly there, and my tastes are so different from many girls…. I don't think I would've fit in, though I do miss Alice and Joanita something fierce…" Rispah smiled in sympathy.

"How about this? When Jon returns to Corus in a few weeks, how would you like to go with him and visit the palace for a few days? You could see Ani and Alice and catch up for a while."

Kali literally jumped out of her chair and attacked her mother in joy. "Oh mother! I would _love _that!"

"You could go, say, as a representative of the Trebond household, there to update Their Majesties with news of the harvest and the annual census information, stay there for a week or so, and then return home." Rispah smiled, and Kali felt elated. She had not seen her two best friends in such a long time! They exchanged letters regularly, of course, but _seeing _them… well that would be a glimpse of sunshine in the midst of a rainy day.

The remainder of dinner was spent with chatter, laughter, and a few complaints from the younger children, which the older members of the family laughed at good-naturedly, but slowly, the noise began to die out. Rispah finally dismissed them all to bed when Daran fell asleep in his chair. As she adjusted Daran on her hip, she stopped Kali as she passed and embraced her adopted daughter. "I love you very much, Kali-dear. Always remember that."

Kali squeezed her mother in response. "I love you too, mum. You're the only mother I've ever known—I doubt very much I could ever or would ever forget that."

* * *

"Coram, this is no laughing matter! Halef Seif was quite certain that the boy knew his purpose. He'd been acting oddly for weeks! He _and _the other boy!"

"Ye know, I wish ye'd stop referring to 'im as 'the boy.' It's as though by leavin' 'im with the Bazhir ye made to completely disown 'im! My Kali def'nitely means more te me than jus' 'the girl.' They're yer children, fer the gods' sake!"

"Yes. I am well aware of that, Coram, thank you. It's because they're my children that I am absolutely terrified that they'll be found! Why would the—sorry, why would _Keyn _run away from the Blood Hawk, unless he _knew _that he had a sister? If he were Thom—which, by all accounts, he sounds very much like Thom—he would be utterly devoted to her, no matter if he'd never met her before. He would go looking for her." Alanna looked horrified, and Coram was beginning to understand why. She continued: "And I'm afraid that the first place he'll look—"

"—is Trebond."

* * *

AN: Please review! I hope that it's keeping your interest and that you're enjoying it as much as I am. Please give some inspiration to go on. It would be much appreciated. =)

kt


	4. 3: Tremors

AN: _So I'm sorry it's been so long. Things only calmed down a few weeks ago, and it's taken this long to pluck up enough courage to start writing again. I'm sure I'm rusty and critiques would be greatly helpful in getting me back on my feet. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy! -kt_

**Chapter Three: Tremors**

Alanna was annoyed.

For all her legends and grandeur, there were times when the Lioness wanted nothing more than to curl up into a very tight ball where the painful cramping of her muscles drowned out all other perception. No Kings giving her orders, no townspeople asking her to be their goddess, no sight of George's sympathetic eyes and (best of all) no room for wandering thoughts to roam about.

Yes, these times existed, but three words always brought her back from the brink: duty, responsibility, justice. What did these words mean to a knight who shirked her title for the sake of selfish weakness? Guilt, failure and chaos.

Thus in this mindset, Alanna sat in Council while her friends gave reports to the King. She herself had nothing to say, and was therefore irritated by the fact that she had to waste her afternoon in this stuffy room. More news about the dramatic bureaucracy of Court and the continuous battling between liberal and conservatives, all of which Alanna could not bring herself to give two wits about. In her opinion, the only thing they were good for was target practice, but unfortunately she only got that chance against the bureaucrats of other nations. _A pity_, she often mumbled to herself.

"Thank you for your account, Sir Gareth," rumbled the King. The King's deep voice originated from somewhere deep in his chest. There was something delicious about the way the chords of his baritone vibrated up through her as she laid on his bare chest late at night that made Alanna giggle ridiculously.

Most of the time, Jon and the King were two different people. In recent days, Alanna had been avoiding all points of potential contact with Jon and keeping her interactions with the King solely business-related.

Sometimes however, the two men blended together during the barest instants. It could be the result of a certain turn of phrase, a particular twinkle in his eye or (as in this case) a particular pitch in his speech. Sometimes, there would be something that would make King Jon of the present resemble the man who made Alanna feel like the woman she could have been. Usually these brief moments of remembrance were easily squelched without leaving the barest traces of regret oozing behind. Unfortunately, with the twins making an encore to their original drama, remembrance was beginning to take center stage and guilt was doing well in its supporting role.

It was this rumble that sprawled her into a state of near-panic, that horrible sickening twinge in her stomach rapidly making its way to her throat. "Sir Raoul. Please give us your war report."

She had to get out of here—she was starting to fidget. Jon always noticed when she fidgeted. Sure enough, within a second or two, Jon hissed to her, "Yes, I know it's boring. We'll be out soon enough," which, of course, only made her sudden bout of paranoia worse. In under a minute, her minor twinges had escalated to extreme panic-tremors, the kind she hadn't had since….

…Since she found out she was pregnant. The first time.

In the middle of Raoul's report, she leapt out of her chair, blurting, "I have to see Duke Baird," and it was all she could do to not sprint out of the chamber. However, instead of heading to the healing wing, Alanna walked as quickly and purposefully as possible towards Coram's guest quarters, keeping her jaw set in the "Alanna is not in a good mood" mask so that people would get out of her way.

This tactic worked as beautifully as it always did. All servants and passersby quickly turned around and walked the other way upon encountering her, for which she was very relieved. If she opened her mouth for any reason, she felt like she would vomit.

Guilt was not something she handled well.

Not caring if she interrupted Coram's beauty sleep, she callously forced open the door to his quarters, the violent bang of the door against the wall rudely interrupting whatever dream the man might have been having at the time. He reacted just as expected—eyes round as saucers, mouth curled into a comical O-shape, arms flailing wildly for the nearest available weapon… Knowing the terrible panic of being awakened by such a noise (especially for a soldier), under other circumstances, Alanna would have felt dreadful about this.

After catching the pillow Coram had chucked at her (for once, he had not been sleeping with his sword, which might have been a more effective weapon), Alanna quickly shut the door behind her and grabbed the pail used for bathwater from the washroom. As expected, the moment she opened her mouth, the bucket discovered that it had just been used for a slightly different purpose than that to which it was accustomed.

Ever the helpful manservant, Coram was out of his bed in seconds with a rag and holding her hair away from her face. Nodding her thanks and setting down the misfortunate pail before accepting the proffered rag, Alanna wiped the sick from her mouth and the perspiration from her clammy face before stating five simple words:

"We have to go. Now."

* * *

Despite her desire to ride for Trebond with all haste, her residence at Court required that she must inform the King before making any unscheduled travels. Just the idea of having to be in the same room with him in her over-emotional state made her stomach churn again.

Thayet. Thayet would understand. She understood so many things, graciously accepting event the news she did not like for the sake of diplomacy or, in this case, friendship. Not for the first time, Alanna was grateful that she had found the then-princess on her travels and brought her home to Tortall. If she hadn't, Alanna might have had to take up post as Queen simply because no one else was up to standard.

Of course, had that happened, the distressed Lioness would not be as highly strung as she was at the moment, which could only be a good thing.

Oh, how she hated herself as she paced her quarters waiting for Thayet to arrive. She was taking the coward's way out in every possible manner. She should have enough strength of character to hold herself together long enough to tell Jon she was leaving. She should have enough dignity to tell the truth to her most beloved friends and family. She should have had enough courage to raise and love her estranged children by herself.

But she had none of those things at the moment—or at any moment where this entire issue was concerned. Everything about their conception and life had been nothing but a plague on hers—a constant hum of panic on the edge of her consciousness; a distraction that the King's Champion did not need to have on her mind during a battle, or at any other time for that matter.

She almost wished she had done away with them the moment she'd found out she was pregnant. Almost.

Thayet knocked politely on Alanna's door, a stark contrast from the way Alanna had barged into Coram's quarters less than an hour earlier. The events spoke to the differences in the two women's characters almost by themselves: Alanna could be brash and callous, especially under harsh circumstances, whereas Thayet was perfectly composed and collected no matter what hurdle had been put in her way. Again, Alanna was thankful for finding her and said so to the gods silently as she opened the door to allow her friend access.

"I'm sorry I'm so late. The newest riders were choosing their ponies today, and one of them got into a head-butting match with one of the ponies and…it's been a long morning."

"There's no need to apologize. I should have waited until lunch hour to try and contact you, but as you say…it has been a long morning…" Alanna gestured to one of the sofas by the fire before taking a seat on the one opposite. Thayet sat, but said nothing, instead waiting patiently for Alanna to find the words herself.

"I have…a bit of an issue. I can't go into the details of it right now, but Coram and I must ride for Trebond immediately."

* * *

"I see." Thayet paused, as if considering whether the questions burning in her mind truly required an answer. She must have decided that Alanna would tell her in good time; when she wasn't so obviously bothered. "I will tell Jon that you have left. I believe that he is still in Council? Well I will alert him as soon as he joins me for lunch. There is nothing important planned for the next few days, so unless a war brews under our unsuspecting noses within the next day or so," the two of them exchanged a knowing smile, "I doubt you will be missed."

"Thank you so much, Thayet," Alanna said sincerely, rising to her feet simultaneously with Thayet.

Thayet merely smiled and reached out to embrace her friend. "I know you will tell me the meaning of this when you can, but for now, I think you have something important to attend to." She stood back from her friend and began walking towards the door. As she reached it she added, "I know how you get when you have something pressing on your mind, so as your queen, I demand that you hurry up and take care of it." Alanna laughed, feeling infinitely lighter than she had only moments before.

Yes, there were times when Alanna wanted to escape…but when duty was not enough to keep her upright, her friends and family were. Acknowledging this, Alanna truly understood the true power of learning to love and to let herself be loved.

* * *

AN: _I really hope to have another chapter up soon, but this is just to get me back into line. Any feedback that you have is greatly appreciated and will do much to keep _me _upright. Thanks much for reading! -kt_


	5. 4: My Sister's Keeper

**Chapter Four: My Sister's Keeper**

Kali and Jon walked side-by-side in silence out of the dining room, feet padding gently on the rich rugs lining the main hall. As if looking for a way to break the silence, Jonthair chuckled suddenly, earning himself a raised eyebrow from his sister. "I'm sorry," he said. "I just keep thinking about what ma said about all the boys sending you love notes."

"And _why _exactly is that funny?"

"Well, because you were always so oblivious as to the way they mooned over you when you passed." Jon let out a loud cackle. "I remember one time when we were visiting Joanita's family at Rosen Forest, one of her visiting cousins followed us for about a hundred paces wearing a face so dumbstruck he could've passed for a below-average goatherd."

Kali sighed disparagingly. "I don't know what I've done to them. I haven't tried to make myself seem interesting."

"Ahhh," her brother amended with a sideways grin, "but the ones that try aren't _nearly _as interesting as the ones that don't." Kali scowled, but Jon just laughed once more and scampered away towards his rooms yelling "Goodnight!" over his shoulder as he went.

As Kalita continued towards her rooms, she began to consider the idea of future husbands. It wasn't as though she didn't like boys; it was just that none of them interested her in the slightest. They all talked about the same things, engaged in the same asinine habits and were just generally more insecure about themselves than she was. She almost wondered if it would be worth it to accept engagement to an older man, if only because he might have an ounce of maturity.

But the idea left her head as soon as she thought it. No man who married a girl of sixteen would be any more mature or treat her any better than a boy her own age. And besides, she wanted a man young, fit, charming and a little mysterious, as all girls do. And so, she closed herself off from all advances until just that right person came along…if ever he did.

Entering her rooms, she found her bed made and pre-warmed and knew that Belle would be assisting the other maids with their nightly cleaning rituals. As such, she went about her own nightly rituals until a tiny knock came at her door. Opening it, she was surprised to find her younger brother Daran. She paused with the brush halfway through her hair and hand still on the door handle and just stared at the red-headed little boy with wary eyes.

Since Daran had learned to speak, he had made it his job to voice the most uncanny of things when you least expected it. Since birth, he had exhibited an intelligence far beyond what was expected. He had been an unnaturally quiet baby and an even more introspective child, so much so that in the beginning, Rispah had repeatedly taken him to a healer for fear of mental problems. Now almost five years old, his family had grown to understand that on the rare occasions when Daran spoke, his monologues should be not be taken lightly.

It was with this consideration that Kali took his next words to heart with nary a second thought.

"The servants have been lazy with the window latches lately. There's always a handful that sit forgotten and still others that are barely latched." He paused slightly, but she waited, knowing there was more. "You cannot close yourself off forever, Kali. There is still someone that will find a way in. He's coming to find you. Don't blame the servants when he does."

He hugged her tight around the knees in a final sort of way to do and smiled. Unsure of what else to do, she patted him absently on the head. Truth was, Daran's revelation had unsettled her so much that all she wanted to do was tightly latch her windows and door and curl up under her covers.

"Goodnight Kali," Daran said in his little boy voice, still smiling. Kalita couldn't help herself; she knelt down and pulled him into a hug before taking his hand and showing him back to his room.

He said no more as they walked, or even as she tucked him into bed. But as she moved to close the door to his room, she heard a soft, half-asleep whisper escape the room behind her: "He's waiting for you."

Belle watched her mistress uneasily out of the corner of her eye. The Lady of Trebond almost never helped in the kitchen unless she was extremely agitated. Belle and the other maids were aware of Rispah's previous occupation as the Queen of the Rogue and simply assumed that is compulsive behavior was leftover from her time as the caretaker of the Dancing Dove and mistress of thieves and brigands. Tonight, she washed the china with a certain clarity of spirit that could only indicate to those who knew her that something was very off.

"Something´s going to happen tonight, Belle. The thieves´ sense is pulling at my ear..."

"Yes, madam."

The former Queen fell silent and continued scrubbing the plates with an absent and unnerving calm. Belle began to feel this "thieves´ sense" of hers, and it was pulling her ear rather forcefully out the door. Belle was not a complicated woman. She had no gift, no Sight, and certainly no "sense" that belonged to any thief, unless it was a sense about dirt and grime. She believed it was not her place to poke her nose into the world of magic and superstition.

Kalita returned to bed more than a little unsettled. And for good reason. They had long learned to take Daran's odd phrases seriously, but maybe this would be a little _too _seriously? She couldn't make herself think so.

She shivered under her already warmed covers and stared at the ceiling, hoping that maybe if she counted enough of the blocks, the boredom would put her to sleep. It didn't. Eventually, she just became frustrated and flipped angrily onto her side. Muttering, she closed her eyes. Soon enough, her mind wandered along by itself and she slipped seamlessly into dreams.

She dreamed about elephants for no apparent reason. It was only when one of them made an ungainly squeak that she cocked her head and abruptly twitched awake. There was a draft that she noticed almost immediately, which meant that the ungainly elephant squeak had ultimately been her window. Having forgotten entirely about Daran's warning, she rubbed her eyes and rose to close it.

Then she noticed the shadow at the foot of her bed.

She scampered to the far corner of her bed chamber and tried to light her Gift, which wholeheartedly refused. Of course it would choose this instant to quit cooperating, she thought exasperatedly. But she was saved the trouble as the intruder immediately lit his.

"Who are you?"

"Come away from there. You needn't be afraid. I'm not about to hurt you after I've gone to such lengths to get here."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Well maybe if you got away from that dark little corner, I'd fill you in. I'm not about to do so until you've seated yourself comfortably. Here, look. I'll even back away from the bed so you can sit on it again. How's that?"

She eyed him suspiciously. His sliver-grey eyes were honest, at least, though that could've been a fraud. The sharp contours of his face and jaw line didn't do much to help her in the assessment of the boy, but they were highly attractive. Slowly, Kali felt her legs move towards the bed where she sat and waited for the promised explanation.

"…Well? Now why have you gone to 'such lengths' to get here? What about this place is so important to you? And why come in secret? You don't need to steal anything. My parents are good people. If there's something here that's rightfully yours, you could've just marched right up and asked for it." It was apparent that he wasn't going to do any harm to her—at least not immediately—and her irritation for having been woken up was starting to settle in. Why, in the name of all the gods' mighty buttocks, couldn't people just be decent and use the front door?

"You're probably not going to believe me when I say this but I'll just have to spit it out… You are Kalita Joalan of Trebond—"

"Well no shit, detective, I think I could've figured that one out myself," she muttered under her breath.

"—and I am Keyn William of the Bloody Hawk—"

"Oh, well that's good to know."

"—your twin brother."

She had no snide comment to add to that.


End file.
